What ? Another stupid pun to attract your attention ? That’s right honey, welcome to the sad world of the sacred internet. You got lucky, you could have gotten a nude of me for that matter, but no naked mama on the web ever got married, am I right ? Oh wait, they actually all did, I’m just terribly old-fashioned here… But sextape or not, I still haven’t forgotten about my goals to become one’s happy and catholic housewife . Dear Jean-Georges, if you read me, please book the Ritz immediately for our upcoming wedding. You may not know me yet, but I’m coming towards you every day a little bit closer. Marital heaven, here I come.

And Lyon too ! After almost 24 months of drying out among my homies (let’s start the baby talk so Jean-Georges know I want kids), I decided it was time to leave Paris for a while. As Corona took a shit on all our dreams and hopes, the urge to get my revenge and pee on a PCR test was tempting. Although no result came out of it, (mama no pregnant here  ), the SNCF gently allowed me to book a first class ticket (the only way you can actually meet people like Jean-Georges or his rich cousin from Morrocco, Jean-Karim) to Lyon. Supplement exoticsm please and no water. Me need alcohol to flirt.

Sadly, the only moment I ever got from that so-called exoticism expected on vacations was on the train. The guys located next to me turned out to be the former musicians of the late Rachid Teha. One of them even offered me his latest single . A pocket one, something I haven’t touched in a long, long time. I know you wonder if I asked them to play me a song since it’s not that usual to be around a band. But a lady knows how to behave among males, and my pride would have been harmed. Also I forgot my purple pashmina, and therefore wasn’t able to dance seductively around them…:/

After that sweet travel, I finally arrived to Lyon. Didn’t know a single thing about the city. Pretty big I must say. I didn’t expect it to be this wide. The city is organized by districts and has a subway too, just like Paris. Walking on the hot summer streets of Lyon, I even could spot something that looked exactly like the Eiffel Tower… which led me thinking : was I in Paris ? If I had to ride a 2 hour train to see the same things I usually see, why travel after all ? Seeing my friends sure could be a reason, but, is there more to this city than its grattons ? You must admit that, when travelling, the only thing you do is eat, drink, over and over again. Something you definitely do on a daily basis in your own town. Do we just travel to experience new food ? Am I just some travelling intestines ? If so, pretty irritated. And constipated (poor Giorgia’s toilets…).

But the kindness of the people there woke me up in a second : I wasn’t in Paris. Even the dogs we met there were the nicest I’ve ever met (Nana ). And what about those waiters, all sweet and funny. Was every human beings in Lyon super nice or was I just high on dopamine ? Because that’s something that always happens when travelling too, everything and everyone suddenly seem exceptional. When leaving our city, do we also leave parts of our selves and keep on the essence of our beings (i.e our intestines) ? They say the grass is always greener on the other pasture, but what about the water ? Yep, their river was definitely greener than the Seine, like this was possible. Yuk. But this didn’t bother me at all, so I guess the positivism of the traveller is actually just mere stupidity.

The stupidity of believing you need to go elsewhere to have fun, or to get some relief. The stupidity to think the answer to your problems is always elsewhere, that you need to flee some kind of situation to find the « solution ». Spotting all those similarities with Paris, I realized everything I needed was already around me. Even more, within me. Waouh, I sound like a Buddhist on this one. Sadly, we’re always open to the idea that the solution is on an external level, like we can’t deal with our issues on our own. Whether its peace, health or fun, we’re always dragged from the exterior world, attracted to it because it’s always easier to look outside than inside. We expect some sort of savior to come and rescue us like we’re programmed to. Awaken the lion in you sweetie, and you won’t feel the need to wait for the next pill or destination to bring you what you longed for.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to travel, it’s always full of suprises and fun. Every part of it makes me dizzy. And I must say Lyon did a good job. But if you’re not willing to awaken the lion in you, you can go with something else. Like a horse or something. Be a little creative, will you ? Dear Jean-Georges, if you read me, please don’t come rescue me. I will do good on my own. But you still can send me money that will do the trick.

Jordan

Easy-going 27 year-old bitch.