What’s up doc?

Nothing good sir. In my quest of leaving Nicotine (this bitch is persistent), I realized not only I was the victim of it, but so did my clothes. Turns out passive smoking is a real thing people. But more important here: am I the only one wearing jogging outside the gym? In them, I feel like floating in the air and they’re perfect during a big fat meal (elastic waistline darling). Unfortunately, they long have been the target of fashionista who despised them for no reason, following a hatred lead by Karl Lagarfeld in person.

He once said jogging are reserved for people who lost control of their lives, which I completely disagree with. I actually see them as a sign of carefreeness and absolute self-confidence. Who cares about what others think when you’re feeling so comfortable in your pants? As if we weren’t under enough social pressure… Today is International Women’s Day , crazy that in 2018 women still have to march to fight for gender parity. But do jogging need their day too to get their deserved recognition? And why does Karlito hate them so much? Does he ever relax or eat fast-food? That would explain why he barely smiles. But then, something terrible happened, something that made me reconsider my beliefs. Whilst smoking and chilling in my balcony in Paris, ashes fell down on my jog. See it? There is a hole in my upper-left thigh. It was my first burn victim (that I remember of). There I lost control…

Did my jogging easiness make me forget everything around me, and therefore made me lose control of my hand? Was Karl right? I couldn’t help but wonder: was my favorite jogging burnt a sign that I had to quit smoking? Gee, they still don’t know who killed Kennedy, how am I supposed to know that…

That’s why from now on, I decided to only smoke carrots. Not only because they’re suppposed to make people nicer, but for the good sake of my closet and other people’s (I can be clumsy sometimes) A small step for me, a giant leap for clothes.

Jordan

Easy-going 27 year-old bitch.