Yes, your reading is not wrong. France’s flag has not changed a bit, still blue, white and red as an angry bull. That’s just some fantasy of mine, putting pink on anywhere I can. Welcome to my world.

How could you miss it, seriously ? True to form, France always acts like a freakin’ attention bitch, with its spectacular fireworks show millions of people documented on their social media. But for the first time, spending useless hours on platforms like Instagram wasn’t mandatory to realize Bastille Day knocked at your door. You just needed to go outside, and smell the tension in the air. That’s right everyone, the revolution just started, just like in 1789. Forget about Diderot or Rousseau for a while and think BFM Tv from now on.

Please sir, may I have some more, explaination ? Am I the only one not seizing the purpose of this day ? On this lazy summery Sunday, as I went outside and faced all the people happily drinking or confronting the police officers down at the Champs-Elysées (sometimes doing both at the same time), I suddenly wondered : what are we exactly celebrating on this particular day ? What is it, that makes us so proud we throw a big show all over the country and let the whole world aware ?  If someone knows, please enlighten me. And don’t come up with that history fact we all know about, that ain’t working. The people back then had reasons to party and be happy, that’s for sure. But do we still share the same values and struggles as our predecessors or are we just obnoxious losers looking for an excuse to day-drink ? I could ask Dibald’ but he’s out on vacay down in LA :/ .

That 14th of July, I did not just wander around Paris. I also spent some family time at grand-ma’s. Got the chance to gather up with my relatives and over eat to the point where my toilets venue looked like the fireworks show on the Eiffel Tower (elastic waistline mandatory). Nothing glamourous, just like what happened outside. But as we were all watching the damage done over town with my little cousins, I suddenly realized : they’re the ones we should celebrate on that day, and not some shitty runway show given by the army we don’t need for (hello we’re not at war, just drop it). As Emmanuel and his friend’s lovely flying invention got more attention than Dibald’s ass, I thought it was time for the real revolution. Shovering our flag all over Instagram is definetely not the solution people, there’s nothing to be proud of. You’re just born here, didn’t do anything to earn that. You’re just lucky your parents had sex and your mom gave birth to you in the country Susie. That’s all. So instead of weeping over your third glass of rosé taking a snapchat of a momument you can hardly spell, why don’t you just take time to look at the younger generations and show them the right example. Because we all know that war and politics will never be the answer to our problems, and were in fact, what caused our revolution back in 1789. But drinking may help a little though so keep going (and please pour me some roséééé too).

France’s flag, more like, big red flag (lolz). This sexual color is also known to embody anger, blood and danger. Is that really what we want ? As time changed our perspectives and mindsets, wouldn’t it be the perfect moment to change our national outfit and switch this strong color to another? Something more in line with what we truly need like, let’s say, pink ? For peace, protection and prosperity… Pink up France !

Jordan

Easy-going 27 year-old bitch.