Here’s some shitty news a paper could write about the President in summer: Dibald’ and I went on a boat. And we loved it.

Sailing on the quiet lake of Como turned out to be not so easy. As we got the chance to admire all those magnificent villas posing pretentiously over the shores, our captain’s concentration got corrupted, so much we almost drawn (true story). Money is as bright as the sun apparently and Dibald’ and I suffered the consequences. Captain, oh captain, if you read me (and I know you do), thank you. Because of you, we got the drama we’ve all been looking for after those long days of eating and chilling (pause, repeat). I gave sailing a try and it was really funny (for everyone but me). First times are always clumsy and driving when you’re responsible of other lives is no cake (hmmm tiramisu) and even if the wooly mountains soothed my eyes, I was still concerned about those huge sharp dark pics on the horizon (twisted minds: out). Isn’t this a representation of our existence? The water may be quiet here but it is surrounded with dangerous guests (except for George of course). Even worse, you could actually be the one who makes you sink (right Captain?). So even when you have everything figured out, you can’t forget to look out and miss a spot. Cos’ that’s the easiest way to lose track and fall down the earth.

Exaggerating, me? Maybe, but I’m in Italy, and I’m on a boat, and I always dreamt to join la Comedia Dell’Arte so I’m good to go. But more important here, I didn’t forget those summer clothes that allow me to sunbath. Always make sure your priorities are on point people.

Jordan

Easy-going 27 year-old bitch.